It’s been a few weeks since we shared the exciting news that we’ve officially and legally adopted out all 5 of our embryos to an incredible young couple that we are so very grateful for! Eric and I spent much time discussing the “ideal” couple for our unknown embryos and always at the top of our list was that they would love the Lord, serve him first and would desire to raise their children to know and love him as well. We both feel that we hit the jackpot with our embryos parents-to-be! I have loved the communication I’ve been able to have back and forth with them and just know that both parties feel so much inexpressible gratitude for the other. I have zero doubts that God orchestrated all of this for his Glory and for our good!

We found out shortly after their transfer in November that they were indeed pregnant!! When I initially read this, I immediately had tears of joy and felt so much peace about it. It was as if a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Even though these embryos are no longer my legal responsibility I still felt so much pressure on myself (even though I have absolutely no control over it!) for their transfer and pregnancy to be successful!

However the relief that I felt (and still do) is more than just excitement and gratefulness that they were able to achieve a pregnancy with our donated embryos but even more so for the said embryos! These already multiplied but frozen cells, were life in my eyes. I knew from day 1 of our infertility journey that I could never discard them. There were so many tears, prayers, dreams and time spent over them and by more than just myself. Family and friends joined in on this journey with us. They suffered when we suffered and they encouraged and prayed for us as we continued down the road of growing our family after each painful loss or failed attempt. I always knew that if the opportunity presented itself, we would adopt any remaining embryos to another couple in need, trying desperately to grow their family….and the amazing thing is, God always knew that too and had a greater plan with this specific couple in mind, when we started down that road over a decade ago. Our God is so great and his plan is always better than ours!

On December 27, I received an email from this newly mom-to-be and someone I now consider an extended part of me and my family! She was reaching out to update us on their pregnancy news. They were so excited to share that they are expecting TWINS!!!!!! You read that right, 2 precious lives will be coming out of the embryos we could have so easily discarded so that we didn’t have to have the potentially uncomfortable feelings and idea of our biological children being raised by someone else! It brought tears to my eyes again knowing full well we made the right choice, the God led and life honoring choice, and gave an opportunity of life to these embryos and the chance of a family to this beautiful couple!!!

December 27 was also Everson’s 3rd birthday. Our Everson, who was biologically conceived at the same time as these newly developing babies, will be connected to these 2 children in such a special way!!! Science is incredible and our God that allows the continual advancement in science is so good too and we are seeing that first hand in our current situation.

On 1/11/22 we remembered our lost but never forgotten son, Isaiah, again. It has been 5 years since I delivered his lifeless body too soon. I’ll never forget the pain, the deep hurt and loss I felt so far too long. I still don’t go without thinking about him 5 years later. As soon as I hear his name being called out to someone else, I’m taken back to that day in 2017 when my earth shattered, not hearing his heartbeat. That’s something I can never forget and in the moment and weeks and months around it, couldn’t see through that anger and pain filled fog. But now, 5 years later, I still wonder what he would look like, his personality, what our lives would look like with him in it, But I also smile, knowing that because of the sacrifice of him, I have a greater and deeper appreciation for the life of all the littles that make it through a healthy pregnancy. I also have my 3 year old Everson now. And of course, our extended friends/family in another state who we’ve never met, are also getting the chance at a family of their own with not just 1 but 2 beautiful children in the late summer of this year! We are so very excited for them, hearing about their pregnancy journey and are so honored to come along side of them and their family, and pray for them in any way we can.

I often get asked, will you get to meet them someday? Will they know their full biological story? Will our boys get to meet their fully biological siblings? All I can say at this point is Eric, myself and our boys are wide open to that possibility, but we also understand and respect that there needs to be boundaries and any kind of communication, relationship and possibly meet up needs to be done in a safe and healthy way for the children and families involved. This is completely new territory for all of us involved and the most important piece of it, is the plan that God had all along. We want to honor and listen to that far above anything else so much prayer and thought will go into any kind of meet up and closing connections made between us and their family.

As the weeks, months and eventually years go by, I hope to have some type of relationship with the children that come from our sacrifice and their parents. But I trust that God already has that worked out and knows what that looks like on the other side of time and will in time, lead us down that road if and when it’s appropriate. In the meantime, our family will continue to pray and communicate via email with the adoptive parents, trusting that they are going to do what is right and best for their children just as any loving parent would.

So for my praying friends and those who have followed our infertility journey that started of so, so long ago, I’m asking for your prayers again but this time for another couple currently living their dream of bringing home a baby…..or in their case, babies 🙂 !!!!

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6