December 27, 2018 Everson Dean Reuer arrived in this world at 10:28 AM.  His birth story is much different than I had imagined it being… 17 1/2 hours long, an epidural that wore off too soon, a 2nd epidural that was placed wrong and a 3rd that didn’t do the trick, having to manually flip his body in the birth cannel {twice….with a failing epidural….OUCH!!!} and finally his tiny body being placed on me, skin to skin, and seeing his beautiful face for the first time….worth all of the heartache, prayers and waiting!

There is nothing that compares to meeting your child for the first time.  If they could capture that feeling in a drug it would be highly addictive and constantly sought after!  In an instant, the tears of pure agony and pain turn to those of happiness and unconditional love and in a moment, all of it was worth it for this little life lying on top of you.  It really is the most beautiful and incomparable thing.

Everson is a month old already.  I could share so many details about his birth and the last 4 weeks, but the most important thing is the he and I are doing well!  He’s a great eater and pooper {that’s important!} and a pretty good sleeper too for being 4 weeks old!  He loves being held and having a bath. Our family is so in love with him, including his older brother!  Lincoln can’t get enough of that soft baby skin and the intoxicating baby smell!   In fact, he’s already asking for bunk beds for when Everson gets older…we’ll see how long that desire lasts!

The last month has been busy and at times overwhelming.  We moved to a new home only 5 days after Everson was born.  It has been a process getting settled in, but most of the boxes are unpacked at this point.  The new house is very quickly becoming our new home and we love it!

On January 11, we celebrated Isaiah’s 2nd heavenly birthday.  Instead of only sadness, I found myself feeling happy and even joy for where life has taken us.  Of course I still miss our Isaiah and wish things had gone differently.  But on that day, as I held Everson in my arms, I knew each of us {including Isaiah} were exactly where God always intended us to be.  I looked back over the last 3+ years since starting the journey towards another child and thought of all of the highs and lows.  To see where we are now, it was all absolutely worth it and I’m so grateful for God carrying us through it!  Isaiah will always be a part of this family and his name and story will forever be a welcome memory and a meeting that we look forward to, in our home.

On January 12, we said goodbye one last time to my grandmother who has gone on ahead of us to heaven.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to meet Everson in her last days but I celebrate that she’s no longer in pain or suffering.  Instead of holding Everson I imagine her finally meeting Isaiah and holding him in our absence.  One glorious day we will see her again and I cherish the knowledge and anticipation of that day!

Between all of the “extra” stuff in the last month, we have been getting used to being a family of 4 and adjusting to new routines.  I have just over 7 more weeks of maternity leave and in that time, I plan to soak up as much of my boys as I possibly can before the distraction of work also becomes a part of our routine!

As I bring this to an end, I am left feeling so grateful, blessed, fortunate and overjoyed at where God has placed me in life at this moment.  I can look back on it all and see that God truly did know what he was doing and had a plan all along.  Yes, there’s a 7 year gap between my boys and many people may think that odd or sad, but now that I’m in it, I can confidently say that God knew that’s what was right for our family!  One of my favorite things about having a newborn in the house again, is Lincoln.  I love watching him at 7 take it all in, being a helpful big brother and seeing the love that he’s experiencing for another human other than himself!  He’s been on this tumultuous journey with us all along and he’s getting to experience the dedication that’s paid off right beside us.  It’s been a learning experience and faith tester not only for us, but for him as well and I believe that’s an added gift from God.

I have to say “thank-you” to you all again.  Some of you have already gotten the opportunity to meet Everson and see our blessing in person.  Some of you may never get that chance because you’ve been tuning in on our journey and praying for us from afar.  To each of you, I’m so grateful.  I know without a doubt that Everson’s story is not just comprised of us and our immediate family and friends, but of each and every one of you.  It’s all of your prayers and support that helped carry us to this point.  After each failed transfer, praying us through the many procedures, grieving our losses with us….you’re all a part of this beautiful ending!

I started this blog as a way to share my experience and I feel that it’s ending with so much more than I hoped it to be!  I am hopeful that my story has helped anyone else struggling with infertility & loss and/or shed light to these sensitive situations to those not directly effected by them.  I will continue to share my story openly and am always looking to be a cheerleader, listening ear or pray warrior for anyone else in a similar situation.

I will try to check in and update you all on our family’s events, sharing photos and life stages as we go along!  But for now, Becoming Mommy, has served it’s intended purpose and I’m closing this chapter in life…at least for now!